I've been so conflicted about this decision. I recently received some health information that necessitates me changing a few things including increasing my gym attendance. Our current arrangement allows me to go twice a week while Patrick watches the girls on his lunch break. I didn't think it would be fair to make him do that 5 times/wk. Rachael also only gets to play with kids her own age once a week in the nursery at church.Lately she has been coming home and informing me, "I hit my friends" or "I take toys from my friends." She is so smart and a lot of the time I don't feel like I'm giving her enough enriching activities at home. Most of the time I struggle just trying to clean house, entertain and feed both her and Anna, and not fall into a pity party personally.
Our solution is preschool 3 half-days a week. She gets more interaction, age-appropriate activities, and her teacher will help with toilet training. So why is this a struggle? Because I feel like I should be able to do all that for her myself. I am her mother. Putting her in preschool makes me feel like a failure. It's not as if I had a whole ton of kids. I just have 2. Besides that, it was my job to design fun, learning activities for children that were age-appropriate as well as to help them work on negative behaviors and build positive ones.
I guess the bottom line is, preschool isn't about Rachael, it's about me.And that's not right. I'll be praying for some perspective and maybe a little peace. Sorry this turned into kind of a downer. Guess I needed to let it out.
4 comments:
Okay, do you feel better or worse after that "let out"? Rachael is a very busy little girl, and guess what . . . you are the perfect parent to help guide her. However, you are not in charge. You are not now and never will be "everything" in this equation. You are a facilitator - very important, significant and valuable. It is hard work and no one needs to do it all alone. That's why we don't live in caves by ourselves. Maybe both of you will be a little calmer with some away time. It will work. I love you and you are wonderful.
I put the girls into preschool due to peer pressure. All my friends kids were doing it. Seriously - that was the reason. In the end, they loved it and it really isn't that much time away from home yet we got breaks from each other. Don't let it get to you. You'll have fun with her when she is home and you'll be able to get a lot done when she isn't. Plus, if your health suffers - who will be there for her then?
I think you made a great decision! Like you said it is for your health and that is very important! You will feel so much better about yourself and have a lot more energy to play with your girls if you get the exercise your body needs. And Rachael most likely loves playing with friends and she knows you love her so dont think you made a bad decision. If you ever need to talk you can call me.-Amy
These decisions are tough! I think it all boils down to figuring out what works best for you and your sweet family. If it makes everyone happier to have a couple days of preschool, go for it! Hope you feel better soon. What a good mama you are to show so much love and concern for your babies. :)
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